Wednesday, November 09, 2005

teach them well

I was maxing and relaxing all up on cloud 9 yesterday. I was elated because the very much anticipated-sleep depriving-headache inducing-mad late first issue of the Onyx finally hit campus newsstands yesterday. And though sneakers and jeans have, unfortunately, become my unofficial senior year uniform, Tuesday I mustered up the energy to bring my old self back by doing my hair and strutting out in a pair of heels. So yesterday not only was I able to actually hold the product of months of hard labor but I looked damn good and felt great. There was pep in my step and no one could tell me nothing......

It's funny how a few hours can change a day.

There is a teen at the center who has special needs... I'll call him Keith. Keith's social, mechanical, and learning skills aren't like other boys his age. One thing he LOVES to do is his homework. On some nights he brings it for someone at the center to help him. I've worked with Keith a few times on his class assignments and I found helping him extremely difficult. I didn't know how to break down the homework questions in a way for him to understand. I figured that since I don't have any official training in teaching children with special needs I just didn't know how to truly help him without simply giving him the answers.

Proper training or not, yesterday it was immediately apparent to me that Keith's work is far too advanced for him. Last night he brought in a packet that is appropriate for someone who is at least five grades above him. At that realization I became infuriated. I was angry because he is yet another child who is haplessly drifting along this country's educational system. It is obvious that Keith has not learned much. I know that is partly due to his learning disabilities but it's also because people have constantly given him the answers which is basically equal to doing the work for him.

Not wanting to take the easy route out and not sure on how to help him learn the contents of the packet, I unfortunately told Keith that tomorrow he would have to talk to one of his teachers.

Once I told Keith, who is adamant about finishing his assignments every night, that he'd have to turn in his homework incomplete, he became agitated. I apologized to him several times and he frustratingly told me it was fine , though I knew it wasn't. When he quickly put on his jacket and left my heart broke. Tears welled up in my eyes as my mood unceremoniously tumbled off cloud 9.

That entire night at work my attitude was stale. I couldn't get Keith out of my mind. I have a severe Anne Sullivan/Miracle Worker Complex and it's real hard for me to turn a blind eye on someone in need.

Each youth worker at the center is given a case load. It our responsibilty to keep in contact with the teens in our load and stay up to date with their teachers and parents. My case load contains most of the teens that are considered "troubled". I guess it happened that way because the directors see my save the world mentality and know that most of the kids genuinely like me.

Recently Keith was added into my case load. I wont front, I am a bit overwhelmed and intimidated by the task that's ahead of me but I'm going to try my hardest to hold my kids back from slipping through the cracks.

Monday, November 07, 2005

it's more than just a shirt

This and this is ridiculous! Since I now work with teenage boys I'm more aware of their choice of clothing and the issues that surround them. Young men today are living in a time where doorags, bandanas, hats, and t-shirts are no longer worn as fashion statements but as signs of affiliation and intimidation. Uniforms may be the way to go.

Back in Action

I haven't posted in over a month and I was contemplating just giving up blogging all together. I've been so consumed with all that is life, that blogging didn't interest me anymore. But one of my fans has persuaded me to begin posting again so here I am, back in action.

Not really wanting to put all my business out there but tempted to share I'll let it be known that there's a special someone in my life right now. Everything is new and we're still in developement so there aren't any titles. I don't know where whatever we're doing is headed but what I do know is that what we have feels oh so good.

I've known him for 4 years but never really looked at him in the more than a friendly associate kind of way. We would say hi and have brief conversations but never anything exstensive. This summer he finally revealed to me how he's liked since the first time he saw me 4 years ago and I of course being Queen Oblivious had no idea.

It's funny how someone I used to see around every 6 months now occupies most of my free time. Though I try to keep my heart guarded, I must admit I'm so caught up in this new us. He is definitely woo woo wooing me and I'm enjoying it for as long as it lasts.

My weeknight job is at a youth center with 14 to 19 years olds. I love my job, the kids, and my coworkers but what's bothering me is how the majority of the boys are wearing those STOP SNITCHING shirts. Every single time I see them my insides boil. Those shirts perpetuate the mentality of: if you see or hear something act like you didn't and keep it moving. I do believe in the good old mind your own business but there are certain times when that rule definitely does not apply. What makes me even angrier is that one of the youth workers at my job cosigns with the shirts and feels that the sooner the kids learn to not snitch "they'll live longer". We started to get into a heated debate right in the director's office but I stopped myself. I know my co-worker's attitude comes from him having a troubled childhood marred by many run-ins with the law. He has definitely taken a few steps in a positive direction but unfortunately he hasn't completely disassociated himself from the old lifestyle. I'm holding on to the hope that the teens at the center aren't in too deep for me to reach them.


My mother turns 50 this month. I'm finally getting serious about beginning my autobiography and this Thanksgiving break I'm going to start recording our mother-daughter talks. It's funny how I spent much of my preteen years thinking she was my worst enemy whose sole purpose in life was to make me miserable and keep me away from boys. Now she's who I want to be. The older I get the more I see her as more than a mother but as a fellow woman.