Thursday, April 27, 2006

you ever hear something that you're just not ready for? and once it hits your ears and registers, you really can't believe that you actually heard correctly?

that's how i feel when my friends and i get together. i swear the things that come out of their mouths is straight up and down unbelievable. whenever and wherever we gather there's sure to be theatrical hand gestures accompanied by quotable remarks. most of the time i'm either crying and/or holding my belly from laughing so hard.

i spent the afternoon with one of my girls that i haven't seen in awhile. a few of us pack into my girl's car and she tells us about how ,as of last night, she let go of her most recent trifling bed buddy. she says that the guy has been 'baby baby pleasing' all day trying to get her back but she will have none of it. so i'm sitting in the backseat listening to one of the funniest stories i've ever heard and attempting to recover from some of her smart remarks from earlier this afternoon, when she has the whole car in hysterics with this one:

"I finally told him to consider us like edible panties: you can get one good use out of it but try regurgitating that sh*t and it's just not the same."

so today i got some much needed legal advice with a side of good ol' humor.

laughter is a definite cure-all.

Monday, April 24, 2006

first love, standing first in line

i went home this weekend and spent time with my boy b. i've known b since the 10th grade and it's been interesting watching my first love find his way towards becoming a man.

i would have never imagined being with him in high school but somehow it happened and it made sense. we fit. grown folks would often comment on how mature our love was and how happy we seemed. from administrators to teachers to students, everyone was interested in our relationship. to this day whenever i go home someone wants to know how b is doing and whether we're still together.

though our relationship was definitely mature in many aspects, we were still teenagers and we definitely had our dramas. we joke now that back then we were on some serious black dawson's creek sh*t. there were strong emotions, public displays of adolescent affection, out of control hormones and too many tearful hallway episodes to count.

there were good times and bad and i wouldn't go back to change a thing.

though our romantic feelings for one another have dissipated, our love has manifested itself into something comforting and genuine. i've been there for the females who came after me, giving some a thumbs down and rooting hard for others. i'm rooting for the woman he's with now and i pray for his overall happiness.

b and i have gone from teenage lovers to semi-adult friends attempting to find our niche in life.

in the may issue of essence there's an article about a woman who was invited to her ex's wedding. though she was unsure of attending she finally does and is happy with her decision. she finds closure in witnessing her old lover exchange vows with another woman and in the end understands why he wanted her there and why she went-- "because there is comfort in having people around who knew and loved you back then, and who can find a way to accept and celebrate the person you are becoming right now."

how true it is.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

just like a song in my heart......


a few days ago my beautiful best friend/sister sent me a wonderful package meant to lift my spirits and make me feel loved. in it was a mix cd with music from corinne bailey rae. it's been in constant rotation at my place and i'm hooked. she is definitely what's up.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

ashe

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

no one, and nothing goes unchanged

This past weekend was AMAZING! Aside from being oh so shamed by a 5 year old who wrote me a note to "STOP TALKING!"(HAHAHA!), there was a TON of reflecting, eating, sharing and laughing.

It's surreal the various yet to be experienced journeys that lay ahead for my friends and me. There are some of us that are taking our romantic relationships to the next level by cohabitating or tying the knot. Others who are applying for jobs in places they never thought they'd want to live. This is all exhilarating and scary. The things we say, the time we spend together, our feelings, our doubts, who we are .........everything now just means more real. Who knows what our future holds but we're all stepping out on faith in ourselves, each other and somebody bigger that in the end we'll be more than fine.

I'm making a lot of decisions nowadays and there's one in particular that I'm hoping my feelings are right about.

Ms.Nina Simone has it right. Everything must change.

Oh if you love fashion and helping out a good cause please hit up this up in support of Rosie's Place.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

what a difference a day makes....

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

You'd think that I had a huge gaping bloody wound with my heart hanging out of it by the way men have been hovering around me like starving vultures. It's actually somewhat funny because a lot of these guys who have approached me recently do have this crazed hungry look on their face as if they're looking for a meal and I'm their favorite item on the menu. HAHAHA!

What kills me is that a few of them are guys that I have already told that I'm not interested. I mean damn! I know that my heart is hurting but I'm definitely not suffering from head wounds so my memory is fine. LOL! I can't front I have definitely been entertained. I guess I can't knock a few fellas for trying. It's been feeling good to smile.

I saw this yesterday and I'm starting not to be surprised anymore.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Thanks to all those that reached out after my last post. I know as E said the entry was real cryptic but I truly appreciate all the love. It's definitely what made this past week somewhat bearable. It started off shaky and ended pretty well. Don't get me wrong- I'm still hurting but the tears have been gone since last Wednesday and sleeping has become a little easier. I've been productive and spent a lot of time with friends.

One of my friends, who has no idea what's been going on lately, asked me early last week to keep my schedule open Friday around 2. I wasn't allowed to ask any question. All I had to do was be ready by
2 o'clock sharp. We ended up at a day spa and wellness center at some random shopping plaza in Woburn. I was surprised with a chocolate pedicure and a 30 minute massage. It was explained that since my birthday the surprise was planned but because of the snowstorm that day everything had to be rescheduled. Part of me wanted to leave the salon because it's hard for me sometimes to accept gifts but I thought about all that's been going on and decided to let it go. Everything happens for a reason and the massage and pedicure came at the right time. I was touched because this friend didn't and still doesn't know all the things that has transpired as of lately but nevertheless wanted to show how much our friendship has meant.

This weekend I visited a girlfriend and her 1 month old son. It's been awhile since I've spent time in an actual home and not just an apartment full of random folks. Her mom made some damn good Haitian food and we spent the afternoon admiring the baby and talking. My girl's father joined us and we were all immersed in a 2 hour conversation on
Haiti.

He expressed to us that Haiti
can not be saved. Being young and optimistic Haitians we argued that there's hope and the last thing we should do is abandon the island. He went into a story of how Haitians are still living in 1802, the year they defeated the French and took over the island. He explained that as African slaves we could no longer take the brutal treatment of our captures in a place that wasn't our home, so we revolted and overthrew them. He expressed the purpose of a revolt isn't to remain in a foreign land but to return to what you know but being slaves returning to Africa wasn't an option. So they were forced to make a home in the land of their oppressors.

It's like being kidnapped from your parent’s home and forced live and work at someone else’s house. One day shit gets real and you decide to be rid of your captors. You're unsure how to return home so you're forced to stay where you are and start anew. How can you genuinely care and upkeep this new home when there are memories of what occurred there? That is why he believes that Haitians misuse the land and can only care about what it can do for them.

He said that if there were two piles, one consisting of visas ,to get out, and guns , to kill all the wrongdoers on the island, that the pile of visas would disappear first and those who are left will pick up the guns.

No one truly wants to stay.