[Chorus]
I ain't had no daddy around when I was growing up
That's why I'm wild and I don't give a f***
Y'all think cuz these jeans fit, I'll give it up
Don't let my cute face fool yah
[Bridge]
All, all my girls from a broken home
When you're feeling all alone
And you feel you can't go on
Call me
-- No Daddy, Teairra Mari
Wow. I almost have no words. I was catching up on music videos when I saw the Princess of the ROC Teairra Mari's No Daddy. The video isn't much to talk about it. Its theme is a mixture of Gwen Steffani's Hollaback Girl and Britney Spear's Baby One More Time. Teairra Mari struts around an all girl high school in khaki hot pants and a midriff baring top with a handful of fellow no daddy having teenage females prancing behind her.
What kills me is that in the bridge she urges other woman who are going through tough times and feeling lonely to call her.....hmmmm...ummerrah..Now I don't know about you but if I was sitting in my room feeling low and needed some encouragement, the celebrity I would like to have on speed dial is the one and only Queen of the Come Up, Oprah Winfrey. Oprah rose from a childhood marred by repeated sexual abuse and low self esteem to create an inspiring life filled with personal and professional growth, numerous Emmys, movies, and a successful television show that has been around for 20 years. Though she's been interrupting guest on her show more and more lately, Oprah's accomplishments can not be denied. Man, if I was experiencing a bad case of the blues not only would she give me the best advice but Oprah would also tell me to check under my bed and there would probably be keys to a brand new car or some other expensive goodie, that would definitely wipe my tears away.
Perhaps at 17 Teairra Mari has experienced some hard knock times. And getting signed to the ROC under Jay-Z's reign is definitely an undeniable accomplishment but I'm going to have to say no thanks to any advice she would give.
Jay-Z's plans with Def Jam are still questionable to me. Is he attempting to take over the music industry with barely legal female singers? I can't front Rihanna doesn't bother me but Teairra Mari rubs me the wrong way. I know that sex sells and that's unfortunate.
All female artist strive for longevity but don't realize that simply prancing around in skimpy outfits just won't cut it. When will they learn that showing all that you got will only temporarily compensate for a lack of vocal skills and stage presence? Teairra Mari's 15 minutes are ticking away.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Monday, September 19, 2005
Pieces of Me
There's something I've been tempted to blog about for almost a week now but I haven't really figured it all out in my head yet. I don't want to post it without being sure that every words describes exactly how I feel about the situation...maybe I'll have it all together by the weekend.
Inspired by a fellow blogger I decided to post some random things about me that some may not know.
WARNING: Nothing- I mean nothing- in this blog can be used against me. If you read this post and see me on the streets-- act as if you don't know me. If you however do have the audacity to approach me and attempt to recklessly discuss my business on the streets I will act as if I don't know you and give you my worse evil look of death. You have been warned.
* Not only is reading fundamental but it is essential in my life. Though I've fallen in love with magazines, books are my first love. If a book is good I'll revisit it over and over again, like an old friend.
* I knowingly use my size and angelic features to get what I want. Trust me, when I poke out my bottom lip and give my best puppy dog expression, it's a wrap for anyone in a 2 mile radius. You won't be able to say no to me.
* I HATE when people are behind me. I can't stand having folks hanging around somewhere I can't see them. What the heck are you doing back there? That's why I almost never let anyone hold the door for me or get behind me on a stairwell. To all those gentlemen out there I'm sorry. I know that you're intentions are good and your momma raised your right but if you don't want me to tense up and black on you please just don't stand/walk behind me.
* Ice cold ginger ale is my cure-all. Be it an illness, sore throat or simply a gray day ginger ale does it for me.
*I have a slight Napolean complex. I learned early that if your short and look younger than you are, folks don't take you seriously so sometimes you have to demand that they respect you. I don't go around beating people up buuuuuuuuut I am known for stronging arming folks when needed.
* I LOVE to eat, especially reeeeeaaaaaaally spicy food. I don't even think that love adequately describes my relationship with food. I'm a sucker for a man who can work it in the kitchen or knows all the best local restuarants. Feeding me is a surefire way to get to my heart ....and other things. ; - )
* I don't put anything past anyone. It's hard to surprise me. I believe that everyone is capable of just about anything -- good or bad.
*I'm shy. A lot of folks are shocked that I can be shy but it's unfortunately o so true. Close friends have witnessed rare moments when I've turned a deep shade of purple and been at a lost for words.
* I love care free rainy days. Something about rain is so soothing and tranquil. If it rains and I don't have anything pressing on my agenda I like to stay inside all day in my pjs, cook a good meal, catch up on some shows, and fall asleep with the window open just a tad.
* Whenever someone is talking to me I try my best to look them in the eye. The eyes tell a lot and no one wants to feel as if you're not paying attention.
* I want to adopt a child once I'm professionally and financially secure, regardless if there's a special someone in my life. I don't like to hear women in their 40s confessing that they want children but are waiting for Mr. Right in order to start a family. Though I would love to be married one day, my desire to have children is MUCH greater and besides not everyone ends up walking down the aisle. I figure why wait for a Mr.Right, who may never show up, when there are plenty of children in need of a family? Sperm banks are definitely out of the question.
* I come from a touchy feely family so I can't help giving lots of hugs. It's in my blood.
* Saying that someone completes you doesn't sit too well with me. It sounds beautiful and I understand how hearing that can make someone's heart pitter patter but the notion of needing someone else to feel whole just isn't right to me. I would rather have someone who compliments me very well but I believe that before entering a relationship you should have a firm grasp of who you are or atleast acknowledge that you're a work in progress. I know a lot of folks that enter relationships because they need someone else to validate them. You should never use a relationship to define who you are because if that relationship ever comes to an end you would feel as if you've lost yourself and that to me is a great tragedy.
* I am endlessly entertained by people watching. I can sit in one spot for hours watching folks walk by. People do the darndest things when they think no one is looking.
* I own several memory boxes which store pictures, stories I've written in grade school, movie stubs, concert tickets, keepsakes from friends and past relationships, playbills and anything else I want to remember. Once a year I dedicate a night to reorganizing my memory boxes. I spread out on my floor and reminsce. I cry and laugh. Sometimes I do both simultaneoulsy.
* Random folks tell me random things. I don't know what it is but strangers love to talk to me. Maybe it's because they can sense that I won't judge them and that I believe everyone has a story to tell.
* I LOVE to laugh and tell jokes. Laughter is universal. To be able to laugh freely with loved ones is one of life's greatest experiences.
* I have a blessed life. I believe that my life's purpose is to be a positive impact. If atleast one person's life is made better because of my exsistance than I will feel accomplished.
* I love to cuddle. All my guy and girl friends now that if you share a bed with me I will cuddle you so don't fight the feeling.
* I know how to keep a secret.
* My pride and I are in a constant battle. I've always been taught to be self-adequate and never rely on others. My mother raised all of her kids to be givers and NEVER takers. So for a long time it's been difficult for me to allow people to help me out but I'm learning when my load is heavy it's okay to let loved ones make it lighter.
* I'm silly so I crack myself up ALL the time.
* I love surprises and rarely get them!
*I'm quick to playfully flirt and give someone a compliment. Everyone wants to feel good and attractive.
That's it for now. Perhaps more later.
Inspired by a fellow blogger I decided to post some random things about me that some may not know.
WARNING: Nothing- I mean nothing- in this blog can be used against me. If you read this post and see me on the streets-- act as if you don't know me. If you however do have the audacity to approach me and attempt to recklessly discuss my business on the streets I will act as if I don't know you and give you my worse evil look of death. You have been warned.
* Not only is reading fundamental but it is essential in my life. Though I've fallen in love with magazines, books are my first love. If a book is good I'll revisit it over and over again, like an old friend.
* I knowingly use my size and angelic features to get what I want. Trust me, when I poke out my bottom lip and give my best puppy dog expression, it's a wrap for anyone in a 2 mile radius. You won't be able to say no to me.
* I HATE when people are behind me. I can't stand having folks hanging around somewhere I can't see them. What the heck are you doing back there? That's why I almost never let anyone hold the door for me or get behind me on a stairwell. To all those gentlemen out there I'm sorry. I know that you're intentions are good and your momma raised your right but if you don't want me to tense up and black on you please just don't stand/walk behind me.
* Ice cold ginger ale is my cure-all. Be it an illness, sore throat or simply a gray day ginger ale does it for me.
*I have a slight Napolean complex. I learned early that if your short and look younger than you are, folks don't take you seriously so sometimes you have to demand that they respect you. I don't go around beating people up buuuuuuuuut I am known for stronging arming folks when needed.
* I LOVE to eat, especially reeeeeaaaaaaally spicy food. I don't even think that love adequately describes my relationship with food. I'm a sucker for a man who can work it in the kitchen or knows all the best local restuarants. Feeding me is a surefire way to get to my heart ....and other things. ; - )
* I don't put anything past anyone. It's hard to surprise me. I believe that everyone is capable of just about anything -- good or bad.
*I'm shy. A lot of folks are shocked that I can be shy but it's unfortunately o so true. Close friends have witnessed rare moments when I've turned a deep shade of purple and been at a lost for words.
* I love care free rainy days. Something about rain is so soothing and tranquil. If it rains and I don't have anything pressing on my agenda I like to stay inside all day in my pjs, cook a good meal, catch up on some shows, and fall asleep with the window open just a tad.
* Whenever someone is talking to me I try my best to look them in the eye. The eyes tell a lot and no one wants to feel as if you're not paying attention.
* I want to adopt a child once I'm professionally and financially secure, regardless if there's a special someone in my life. I don't like to hear women in their 40s confessing that they want children but are waiting for Mr. Right in order to start a family. Though I would love to be married one day, my desire to have children is MUCH greater and besides not everyone ends up walking down the aisle. I figure why wait for a Mr.Right, who may never show up, when there are plenty of children in need of a family? Sperm banks are definitely out of the question.
* I come from a touchy feely family so I can't help giving lots of hugs. It's in my blood.
* Saying that someone completes you doesn't sit too well with me. It sounds beautiful and I understand how hearing that can make someone's heart pitter patter but the notion of needing someone else to feel whole just isn't right to me. I would rather have someone who compliments me very well but I believe that before entering a relationship you should have a firm grasp of who you are or atleast acknowledge that you're a work in progress. I know a lot of folks that enter relationships because they need someone else to validate them. You should never use a relationship to define who you are because if that relationship ever comes to an end you would feel as if you've lost yourself and that to me is a great tragedy.
* I am endlessly entertained by people watching. I can sit in one spot for hours watching folks walk by. People do the darndest things when they think no one is looking.
* I own several memory boxes which store pictures, stories I've written in grade school, movie stubs, concert tickets, keepsakes from friends and past relationships, playbills and anything else I want to remember. Once a year I dedicate a night to reorganizing my memory boxes. I spread out on my floor and reminsce. I cry and laugh. Sometimes I do both simultaneoulsy.
* Random folks tell me random things. I don't know what it is but strangers love to talk to me. Maybe it's because they can sense that I won't judge them and that I believe everyone has a story to tell.
* I LOVE to laugh and tell jokes. Laughter is universal. To be able to laugh freely with loved ones is one of life's greatest experiences.
* I have a blessed life. I believe that my life's purpose is to be a positive impact. If atleast one person's life is made better because of my exsistance than I will feel accomplished.
* I love to cuddle. All my guy and girl friends now that if you share a bed with me I will cuddle you so don't fight the feeling.
* I know how to keep a secret.
* My pride and I are in a constant battle. I've always been taught to be self-adequate and never rely on others. My mother raised all of her kids to be givers and NEVER takers. So for a long time it's been difficult for me to allow people to help me out but I'm learning when my load is heavy it's okay to let loved ones make it lighter.
* I'm silly so I crack myself up ALL the time.
* I love surprises and rarely get them!
*I'm quick to playfully flirt and give someone a compliment. Everyone wants to feel good and attractive.
That's it for now. Perhaps more later.
Friday, September 16, 2005
falling in love with me
"To love oneself is the beginnig of a life long romance" ~ Oscar Wilde
Recently I recieved an email from a dear missed friend and it was exactly what I needed. She reminded me of how much we're growing and coming into our own. My missed friend also made me see how much of me is still the same and probably will never change.
Nowadays I feel as though I'm truly seeing me for the first time ,which may sound silly because I look at myself everyday. But I guess I mean that now I'm seeing all of me and I'm in awe.
I'm becoming fond of the soft shape of my eyes and how they close up when I smile due to the chubbiness of my cheeks. I'm captivated by my rich honey coated chocolate complexion and the silkiness of my skin. I admire the strength of my thighs and my back.......
It has always been difficult for me to gracefully recieve compliments. When it comes to my work or writing, a few good words here and there are okay. But anything said about my phyiscal has always made me uncomfortable.
When I was younger my mother's female friends would fuss over my thick raven colored hair and jokingly ask me to fetch a pair of scissors so that they could have some. I would immediately attempt to satisfy their request because I wanted them to like me. My father's friends and male cousins would affectionately tell me that I would have every man proposing when I got older. To make things worse in 3rd grade my body started to develop faster than my friends. I wore baggy clothes in an attempt to hide my premature curves. The last thing I wanted to do was draw attention to myself because I experienced early how cruel females can be if they feel that you're getting more attention from the opposite sex than they are.
I think that part of my difficulty with accepting compliments comes from me not believing in them. It's not that I suffer from an extreme case of low self esteem, I simply never looked at myself that hard. I also never wanted to stick out. I learned early that sticking out brings unsolicited attention and hateration. But now I'm slowly beginning to say thank you to kind words and see myself the way others do.
For the first time I've fallen in love with every bit of me and it feels incredible.
Recently I recieved an email from a dear missed friend and it was exactly what I needed. She reminded me of how much we're growing and coming into our own. My missed friend also made me see how much of me is still the same and probably will never change.
Nowadays I feel as though I'm truly seeing me for the first time ,which may sound silly because I look at myself everyday. But I guess I mean that now I'm seeing all of me and I'm in awe.
I'm becoming fond of the soft shape of my eyes and how they close up when I smile due to the chubbiness of my cheeks. I'm captivated by my rich honey coated chocolate complexion and the silkiness of my skin. I admire the strength of my thighs and my back.......
It has always been difficult for me to gracefully recieve compliments. When it comes to my work or writing, a few good words here and there are okay. But anything said about my phyiscal has always made me uncomfortable.
When I was younger my mother's female friends would fuss over my thick raven colored hair and jokingly ask me to fetch a pair of scissors so that they could have some. I would immediately attempt to satisfy their request because I wanted them to like me. My father's friends and male cousins would affectionately tell me that I would have every man proposing when I got older. To make things worse in 3rd grade my body started to develop faster than my friends. I wore baggy clothes in an attempt to hide my premature curves. The last thing I wanted to do was draw attention to myself because I experienced early how cruel females can be if they feel that you're getting more attention from the opposite sex than they are.
I think that part of my difficulty with accepting compliments comes from me not believing in them. It's not that I suffer from an extreme case of low self esteem, I simply never looked at myself that hard. I also never wanted to stick out. I learned early that sticking out brings unsolicited attention and hateration. But now I'm slowly beginning to say thank you to kind words and see myself the way others do.
For the first time I've fallen in love with every bit of me and it feels incredible.
Lifted
I am on a high! Recently I've been feelings as if I'm floating on air and I don't want to come back down anytime soon. My insides are glowing.
The Onyx held our 2nd SOULSPEECH Live last night and it was a PERFECT ending to Onyx Week. We had some Jill, Billie, and Erykah playing lightly in background. Incense and candles burned, adding to the ambience. Around 7:45pm folks slowly trickled in and the vibes were positive. We purposely didn't have a sign up sheet or rigid program. The night was all about expressions from the soul, so we encouraged anyone who felt something on their hearts to come up and share. There were testimonies, jokes, poetry, and singing. Folks got inspired and began writing poems and thoughts down on napkins. My man Terry Gresham came through and blessed us all with his vocals. The Cabral Center got so packed that we ran out of chairs but no one complained. During the moments when no one stepped up to the mic we would all sit back, turn up the music, and enjoy eachother's company. Last night more than ever we were all family and the Tute was our home. SOULSPEECH could have lasted until midnight but campus police needed to lock up the building. We promised everyone that it will definitely be a monthly event.
Though the Onyx has been through more than its fair share of hard times, this week has proven to me why we're here and the reason I've been editor-in-chief for 3 years. In 1972, Ted Thomas, Ileen Dotson, Joyce Clark, Harold Hunte, and Barbara Ellis came together because students of the African Diaspora at Northeastern needed their voices heard. In 2005 that need is still present. Nowadays since some of our battles and obstacles aren't as overt many of us have become complacent and that's why the Onyx endures.
The Onyx held our 2nd SOULSPEECH Live last night and it was a PERFECT ending to Onyx Week. We had some Jill, Billie, and Erykah playing lightly in background. Incense and candles burned, adding to the ambience. Around 7:45pm folks slowly trickled in and the vibes were positive. We purposely didn't have a sign up sheet or rigid program. The night was all about expressions from the soul, so we encouraged anyone who felt something on their hearts to come up and share. There were testimonies, jokes, poetry, and singing. Folks got inspired and began writing poems and thoughts down on napkins. My man Terry Gresham came through and blessed us all with his vocals. The Cabral Center got so packed that we ran out of chairs but no one complained. During the moments when no one stepped up to the mic we would all sit back, turn up the music, and enjoy eachother's company. Last night more than ever we were all family and the Tute was our home. SOULSPEECH could have lasted until midnight but campus police needed to lock up the building. We promised everyone that it will definitely be a monthly event.
Though the Onyx has been through more than its fair share of hard times, this week has proven to me why we're here and the reason I've been editor-in-chief for 3 years. In 1972, Ted Thomas, Ileen Dotson, Joyce Clark, Harold Hunte, and Barbara Ellis came together because students of the African Diaspora at Northeastern needed their voices heard. In 2005 that need is still present. Nowadays since some of our battles and obstacles aren't as overt many of us have become complacent and that's why the Onyx endures.
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