My Enemies: Procastination and Verizon

I love the rush I feel when writing on deadline. For some reason the words seem to sing more when I'm racing against the clock. I love the feeling of how my muscles slowly begin to ease as I proofread the last word and ceremoniously press send with a bit of bravado because I know that the work I just sent was certified gold......

Basically--I'm the Queen Bee Procastinator. Last minute is my middle name. Though what I said above is all true, I usually get the bulk of my work done with only a few crucial seconds to spare. Sometimes postponing projects/papers/articles works out. I sit infront of the computer focused and words effortlessly fly from my fingers, coming out perfect the first time. But sometimes .... A LOT OF TIMES..... I spend hours infront of a blank screen wondering how I hustled my way into school. A LOT OF TIMES I'll also get distracted and start browsing the internet for killer sales, checking my email,browsing thefacebook, and reading who said what on which blog.

However, today, I did none of that and s**t still was crazy! Tell me why.... I had a few more expert interviews to do for my Journalism 2's final 8 paged article when Verizon up and disconnected my phone! See ol' Verizon and I have a love hate relationship-- I love conducting lengthy interviews so that I get all the necessary information for my articles and Verizon hates it when my broke ass can't pay the bill. What gets me upset is: if you're going to shut me down than shut me down completely. But noooooooooo, Verizon does this half ass s**t where you still recieve calls but you can't call anyone except for 911 or Verizon to pay your bill.

***fading to a few months ago***

I remember calling Verizon one night and speaking to a service rep. [Sidenote: doesn't it seem that anytime you call to speak with a customer service representative they're always located in the south or bumblef**k middle America? And I swear that they lie about their names. I think I spoke to a Jose Conseco and Bob Villa once. No lie.] Anyway I tried to sweet talk the rep into turning my service back on and he let me know in a I-ain't-having-it dry ass voice that back when Verizon and I were friends they used to turn my service on in good faith that the bill would be paid. And that I should be happy that Verizon is doing me the favor of not turning my cell off completely. Though I was pissed about not being able to sway him, I decided to let it go and ask him "how many people can I put on my restricted call list?". I figured that if I could at least call my mom, my siblings, my friends, my boyfriend at the time, and a few other acquaintances than having restricted service wouldn't be that bad. There was a moment of silence, a deep frustrated sigh, and than he let said, "Ma'am there isn't a restricted call list. You will temporarily be able to receive calls but you can not call anyone except for Verizon and 911". I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I forgot about being all sweet and resorted to getting straight up indignant. "What...what do you mean only Verizon and 911?! Are you serious?! I'm sorry but Verizon and 911 aren't exactly on my speed dial!!". [Sidenote: I actually do have 911 on speed dial. It ain't safe out there for a cutie like myself. ......Actually I have Verizon on there too......but the customer service rep didn't need to know that] Okay I understand I was a little late with paying the bill but the least they could do is let me call my IN friends. I mean damn those phone calls are free! Needless to say we shared a few more words and my service was still cut off.

***back to earlier today***

I only had 3 hours to spare and I had to figure out how to contact these experts for my final. That's when it happened. Right there in the middle of the library I had a panic attack. I've had them before. I'm used to getting worked up and having to take a a few minutes to catch my breath and compose myself. But today's anxiety attack was something else. It felt as if for a moment my lungs and heart stopped and then suddenly started up again attempting to catch up with lost time. My chest began to jerk with each breath because my insides were off beat. Each time I exhaled was painful and caused me to wheeze. So there I was a wheezing- cell phone service restricted- late paying wireless customer experiencing a panic attack. And do you know that some of the people at the computers next to me rolled their eyes as if I was disturbing them from studying? The nerve!

In the end thanks to two quarters, a pay phone [Sidenote: have you ever noticed that having a cell phone makes you now blind to payphones?], and a friend who has 3 way calling I was able to get my piece done! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAH!

I will admit that procrastinating does suck and that I'm a true antisocial heffa when I'm working on crunch time. Forget about what Deborah and RL said about us not being friends if we can't be lovers. Bump that garbage--we can't be friends if I'm on deadline!

To all my homie lover friends who were hurt today by my curt responses and dismissive email auto reply: I'm sorry. Don't worry all my hard work will pay off and in my autobiography I'll put you all down as the people I loved and cared about ...when I didn't know better. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Kidding. You know I love you.