Sick & Tired

When is it time to call it quits, pack up your things and keep it moving?

I don't even have the energy to go into what transpired the last 2 weeks. But I will say that the nonsense and inconsideration had me seriously contemplating stepping down for my post as the magazine's head woman in charge. My staff let me down to the second power and left me furious and hurt.

I felt/feel like an overworked underprivileged mother who is expected to make miracles out of scraps. On Monday I called a meeting and informed the staff that I'm completely removing myself from the process of producing this year's 2nd issue. I realized that I've done them a great disservice because they've been accustomed to me being around and doing more than my fair share. I needed something drastic to shake them up and make them realize that this is my last year.

So I shared 10 minutes of my disappointed 2 cents and left the office. I gave them a detailed list of the things that needed to get done for our next issue but I would not offer any advice or suggestions. As I walked away I prayed that instead of getting upset and defensive, the staff would come together and get the job done. Though I want them to be successful I also hope they finally understand how much I do and grasp that putting a magazine together doesn't happen with magic.

Well word on the street is that my staffers have been spotted in the library at all times of night and around campus taking pictures. And Wednesday I was asked to look over pics from the cover photo shoot. There were some things I liked and some I didn't but I tried my best to step back and allow them to find their own way.

It's funny to me how senior year is like last call at the bar. Everyone's in a hurry to accomplish all the things they neglected to say, do, or try in the beginning. Brothers I've known for a minute are now revealing their true feeling. Though I'm surprised and flatter I've been here since the beginning so what took you so long? But I guess that's human nature to spend time wondering what could be until it's too late.

I give Mr. Man much credit for taking a chance and finally speaking up. Though it took him 4 years to do it I'm glad that he did because I would have definitely missed out. I'm still enjoying our exclusively dating arrangement. He brings me a sense of comfort that's needed in my busy life and Mr. Man also has the 4 Cs down: cooking, cleaning, cuddling, and communicating. Don't get me wrong things aren't all good all the time -- we've had a few small spats here and there--but nothing too major. My girl Jackie put it best by stating that Mr. Man and I have reached our plateau. Things are still somewhat new but we're both passed the intense being all up under eachother stage. Feelings are still very strong but we're giving each other breathing room.

I'm constantly asked why, if I like him so much, haven't we made things official and what the hell does exclusively dating mean. Weeeelll in my world being in a relationship and exclusively dating are two different things. Dating is when two people are learing about each other and figuring out whether a relationship could actually work. A relationship is when both people are comfortable enough with what they've learned and are willing to make a commitment from it. So Mr. Man and I are exclusively dating. We've basically decided to get to know only each other. This may not make sense to others but we're completely satisfied with our little situation.