Thanks to all those that reached out after my last post. I know as E said the entry was real cryptic but I truly appreciate all the love. It's definitely what made this past week somewhat bearable. It started off shaky and ended pretty well. Don't get me wrong- I'm still hurting but the tears have been gone since last Wednesday and sleeping has become a little easier. I've been productive and spent a lot of time with friends.

One of my friends, who has no idea what's been going on lately, asked me early last week to keep my schedule open Friday around 2. I wasn't allowed to ask any question. All I had to do was be ready by 2 o'clock sharp. We ended up at a day spa and wellness center at some random shopping plaza in Woburn. I was surprised with a chocolate pedicure and a 30 minute massage. It was explained that since my birthday the surprise was planned but because of the snowstorm that day everything had to be rescheduled. Part of me wanted to leave the salon because it's hard for me sometimes to accept gifts but I thought about all that's been going on and decided to let it go. Everything happens for a reason and the massage and pedicure came at the right time. I was touched because this friend didn't and still doesn't know all the things that has transpired as of lately but nevertheless wanted to show how much our friendship has meant.

This weekend I visited a girlfriend and her 1 month old son. It's been awhile since I've spent time in an actual home and not just an apartment full of random folks. Her mom made some damn good Haitian food and we spent the afternoon admiring the baby and talking. My girl's father joined us and we were all immersed in a 2 hour conversation on Haiti.

He expressed to us that Haiti can not be saved. Being young and optimistic Haitians we argued that there's hope and the last thing we should do is abandon the island. He went into a story of how Haitians are still living in 1802, the year they defeated the French and took over the island. He explained that as African slaves we could no longer take the brutal treatment of our captures in a place that wasn't our home, so we revolted and overthrew them. He expressed the purpose of a revolt isn't to remain in a foreign land but to return to what you know but being slaves returning to Africa wasn't an option. So they were forced to make a home in the land of their oppressors.

It's like being kidnapped from your parent’s home and forced live and work at someone else’s house. One day shit gets real and you decide to be rid of your captors. You're unsure how to return home so you're forced to stay where you are and start anew. How can you genuinely care and upkeep this new home when there are memories of what occurred there? That is why he believes that Haitians misuse the land and can only care about what it can do for them.

He said that if there were two piles, one consisting of visas ,to get out, and guns , to kill all the wrongdoers on the island, that the pile of visas would disappear first and those who are left will pick up the guns.

No one truly wants to stay.